Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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