this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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