I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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