pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
