i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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