I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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