we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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