and you said cock pushups were impossible
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
