i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
