you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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