someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
