he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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