So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
