We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
