come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
