weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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