You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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