so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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