You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
