her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize