no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
