just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish you could order shots online.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
