Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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