If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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