btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
