I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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