omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
