Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
