ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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