I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
