I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want nice things and good sex
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
