You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
