Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
