You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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