summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
