I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just high enough for therapy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
