and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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