i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
