Fuck appropriateness.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
