I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Jerry, you need to find god
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize