ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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