Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im holly from the hills drunk
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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