dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
