i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.