he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.