i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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