I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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