It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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