hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
