Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
