What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
