I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
