so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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