Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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