Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
