oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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