I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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