Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
