come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
