Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
