I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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