White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
