This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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